First Friday How virginity almost killed me - edition by Tory Hartmann. Religion & Spirituality eBooks @ .
Download As PDF : First Friday How virginity almost killed me - edition by Tory Hartmann. Religion & Spirituality eBooks @ .
WINNER of the Independent Press Award! The comedy that turns into a thriller. Agnes Anne O’Neil, 28 and still living at home, mounts a five point plan of escape from her ultra Catholic parents. Thwarted by bad memories of a high school attack by the guy who became her brother-in-law, she is plagued by a stutter, an unfortunate nose, and low self-esteem. Nevertheless, her brother-in law is besotted. He now claims he married the wrong sister. Ignoring Bruno’s advances and his fixation with her virginity, Agnes prays to the Virgin Mary for guidance and strength and bravely works toward her goals. But after each part of her plan is enacted and she becomes better looking, the harassment gets worse. And when she begins to date a nice Jewish accountant, her parents explode and lecherous Bruno can’t control his jealousy. We applaud Agnes’ transformation, but can it happen fast enough to save her from her scheming brother-in-law?
First Friday How virginity almost killed me - edition by Tory Hartmann. Religion & Spirituality eBooks @ .
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First Friday How virginity almost killed me - edition by Tory Hartmann. Religion & Spirituality eBooks @ . Reviews
If you are looking for a dysfunctional, hilarious, aggravating family to read about that will make you almost feel thankful for yours, you simply must read First Friday How Virginity Almost Killed Me by Tory Hartmann. I have to be honest, my grandmother talked me into reading this because she though the title was hilarious and she’s Catholic. It took me a while to read because I would get so mad at the situations the main character found herself in I put the book down until I was so mad at her would be rapist/murderer/all around creep brother in law I had to pick it back up to see what Agnes Anne/Anne would do to straighten out the situation. The story is basically about Agnes Anne, who later goes by just Anne, is stalked down by her former boyfriend now brother in law because he wants to have sex with her because she is a virgin. Speaking of Virgins, it would help if you adore the Virgin Mary reading this book because she is almost a member of the family. As Anne sabotages his plans time after time, he sabotages her life and possibly that of her sister’s that he is married to.
The plot of this book is spectacular. The events that the main character Anne is subject to is infuriating and so real to the reader. I forgot to mention she starts dating a Jewish man in the summary of the plot and the love he has for her is one of the most pure and beautiful things I have seen. And may I say thank goodness for that because if that family couldn’t drive him away from her then he is in love with her! It was one of the sweetest loves I’ve read about without all the mushy cliché things you usually read in a love story. I love Anne’s character and how she is reinventing herself and stepping out despite her fears. I also really enjoyed Fiona’s character and her, breath of fresh air, common sense practical approach to life. I also really enjoyed Jude the snail; such a quirky perfect fit for a pet in this family!
The almost end of the book that I don’t want to give away in the review is hysterical and I nearly died laughing at the antics of this family. The fire in the church with the wooden Mary statue was one of my favorite parts of the book. The editing is also nicely done and the chapters were just the perfect length. Anyone who thinks they have a dysfunctional family needs to read this book. If you need a good laugh, so long as you can learn to just hate one of the most evil villains I’ve crossed paths with in a novel, his mastery of charm and narcissistic personality make him so easy to hate, you will absolutely love this book!
This book had it all.. It was funny at moments and sad at moments and absolutely aggravating at other moments. Agnes Anne is a devout Catholic along with her whole, large Irish family. At 28 years old she still lives at home and she is ready for a big change. She wants her life to really begin.. She goes under the knife and gets a nose job and a chin job and she gets her hair and nails done and she is working on getting rid of her stutter.. Unfortunately for Agnes Anne, her family is not too thrilled with her messing with Gods work and they are not shy about telling her. Also, Agnes Anne has started dating a nice Jewish man who her family isn't too thrilled about either. Her family is annoying but endearing. Her sister is married to a total pig who is always hitting on Agnes Anne but her family won't believe her. The lengths that this man goes to before her family sees him for what he is blows my mind but in the end everything is as it should be., I really enjoyed this book..
The first reason that I chose this book to read was the cover. Something about it drew my eye and I’m not sure why because there isn’t really anything special about it. Maybe it was the contrast of colors but once I picked it up I saw that the story was a combination of two of my favourite things the Irish and a mystery. How could I possibly go wrong with reading this book? Happily, I made a good choice.
Agnes, or Anne as she would like to be called, is on the cusp of big changes in her life. She finally has her real estate licence, is thinking of moving out of her parents’ house, and is going to have plastic surgery in hopes of making herself beautiful. However, there’s a secret in her past that involves her brother –in-law, Bruno, and it threatens to cause her all sorts of trouble.
The book starts out being quite funny as it takes a look at life inside a strict Irish-Catholic home where the Virgin Mary is worshiped to such a degree that her pictures are everywhere in the house and Anne’s mother makes her likeness (among other biblical beings) out of pancake batter every morning. Anne’s father treats Anne like a little girl who will never do anything but work in his office and will never be as pretty as her sisters. The back and forth dialogue between some of the characters often involves an Irish dialect which can be a little hard to read but once you get the rhythm of it, the dialogue flows nicely and it really adds to the whole atmosphere of the book. For a while I wondered when the mystery would come in but it’s so slowly revealed and, may I say, slyly done by the author, that all of a sudden I found myself feeling like a light bulb flashed on when I finally figured out what the mystery was in the story. From that point on, I was completely involved with the events that were unfolding and couldn’t put the book down. The pace starts slow but speeds up, all the while maintaining its’ humorous aspects. It does grow dark and a bit disturbing in a way but the author combines the humour and the mystery very well. The characters are well written and believable although it often felt like the book took place in the 1950s or 60s as opposed to current day. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to reading more by Tory Hartmann.
I read this in digital form on my ereader and it formatted well.
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